The Safest Places To Break Wind

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people break wind at the gym. You can't go anywhere unless you give up your favorite machine that you are on.

Breaking wind at the gym is rude for many reasons. You are breathing heavy, so it's getting in your lungs, and you are stuck in the cloud of it because you have nowhere to go.

But, after some thinking, I did come up with the top 5 safest places to break wind. And, by safest I mean places where no one will know who did it. Here are my top 5 favorite places to toot and not get caught:

5) Gym

4) Grocery/ Department Store

3) Casino

2) A Rumble Ponies game

And, the number one best place to break wind and not get caught is...

1) THE ZOO!

But, you must know that the absolute worst place to break wind is in church. Because, you will have to sit in your own pew.