TIER LIST: What Is The BEST Fast Food Joint?
There's a natural pecking order for everything, and goes especially true for fast food.
Tier lists have been all the rage in past year, so I figured, let's anger a few people with my fast food opinions. What could possibly go wrong?
A few ground rules to keep in mind:
- These are just my opinions. Don't get your pants in a twist if your favorite restaurant isn't on the list/isn't where you would put it.
- I only ranked places that I have eaten at. So for example, a lot of people say that In And Out Burger is amazing, but since there isn't a location anywhere close to the Southern Tier, I've never tried it, thus won't rank it
Here is my tier list of the best fast food places out there. If you're all ticked off about one of my takes, keep scrolling and I'll explain myself...
- I hate Sonic. I just do. No offense to anyone who likes it. I get the appeal of it. I've just never had anything on that menu that tasted good at all.
LONG JOHN SILVER'S
- I'll give them credit, they rolled the dice with having a fish fast food chain. Still gross though.
AU BON PAIN
- I went here once. Everything tasted like it was compressed saw dust. Not that I know what that tastes like or anything...
- Never go to Denny's at 2 a.m. Just don't. Also the food's gross.
- Friendly's is Denny's, but for desserts. Lots of fond memories going there as a teenager at like 10 p.m. after acting in our school's plays though.
- I can't really remember how good a single thing I've had there is, so i'm assuming it was turbo unforgettable.
- I've never eaten KFC chicken and felt good about myself afterward. Grease, dripping out of every pore on my face. You feel like you need a shower after going there. Only thing saving it from F Tier are the mashed potatoes and mac n' cheese. Those are tight.
- See A&W.
- Not terrible, just really not for me. I've never really been that into sweets. Also it's like ten pounds of cake.
- I honestly don't get the Blaze Pizza phenomenon. Yeah, you can personalize it, but you can pretty much do that at any place. I'm assuming it's the convenience factor. Either way, watching the making process is gross. The way they just slap that wad of dough on the flattener is just gross to me. The Southern Tier is full of locally-owned pizza places that are so much better than pretty much any pizza chain.
- Overrated food at too steep prices. The food is just sooooooo average, and they try to hide it with a calm, cafe-like vibe. Also, offering a freaking apple as a side at a fast food restaurant should be punishable by federal law.
- Again, overrated food at too steep prices. Once the proteins, rice, beans, and guacamole are all thrown into that bowl, it just turns into glorified pig slop. Just a tasteless blob. No matter what meat you get, it all tastes the same. The chips can't compete with Moe's.
- Arby's is what I like to call the "quick and dirty" option. Seriously, you can get like 85 beef and cheddar sandwiches for, like, a nickel. The curly fries are also the most underrated side in all of fast food. They're tight. The rest of the menu is lackluster though.
- Similar to Cinnabon, it's just not for me. Those donuts are pretty good though.
- Fun fact: I only last month tried Coldstone for the first time. As far as what I'll say about it... It was definitely ice cream.
- My college roommate used to get Domino's all the time. Like all the time. The pizza itself is okay but I hate the crust with the garlic salt all over it. Feels like I'm eating sand.
- I may be overvaluing. Burger King here. The food is really C Tier at best, but my mom would never take us to Burger King when I was a kid, because she used to work there and never wanted to step foot in there again. Now that I'm a big boy, I can get it now. Ah yes, the forbidden fruit. I shall have it. Take that, Angela.
- Take note, Chipotle. This is how you do made-to-order Mexican food. Fantastic burritos and the chips/salsa are tiiiiiiiiiight. I'll chow down on a homewrecker any day of the week, especially Moe's Monday.
PAPA JOHN'S AND LITTLE CAESAR'S
- I'm plopping these two in the same entry because I pretty much feel the same about them. They're both decent options though. Like I said though about Blaze Pizza, I would rather have pizza from one of the local places, any day.
- Starbucks loses to Dunkin' in the coffee chain battle for me. It's a little over priced and the coffee is slightly too bitter. Still very good though.
- I've worked with quite a few people from Pennsylvania and New Jersey over the years, and they rave about Wawa, as do others from that neck of the woods. I stopped at one in New Jersey a few years back, and I will say, it is definitely the best gas station I've ever set foot in. It's not godly, but the food is great.
- Two words: Chicken. McNuggets. I will die for chicken nuggets. That 20-piece McNugget option? Yeah, that's just a suggestion. The fries are also legendary. The rest of the menu I'm a little cold on, but for the nuggets and fries alone. I'll put them here.
- I worked at a Subway for about two years, and I have to say, I'm not disgusted to eat there nowadays. If you're expecting it to be like a deli (which you'd be surprised how many customers actually treat it like one), you'll be disappointed every time. If you look at it for what it is and make the right choices, it can be a good, healthier fast food option.
- Of the big three for burger fast food chains (McD's, Burger King, Wendy's), the house that Dave Thomas built (as I've come to call it) easily has the best sandwiches. The burgers? Fantastic. The chicken sandwiches? Cluck, cluck, brother. Also frostieeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss.
- Again, much rather would have a local slice, but Pizza hut is the best of the big chains. I remember going there as a kid through my school's reading program. If you were one of however many students who read a certain number of books, you would go on a pizza party to Pizza Hut. I think that 's where my love of reading and writing began-- through being bribed with pizza.
- You may only really find them in dying malls, but man will I always be down for an Auntie Anne's pretzel. Plain, salted pretzel with cheese sauce for me, please.
- Taco Bell was in a baaaaad spot a few years ago. The reputation was in the stink. Now, it's quietly one of the healthiest ways to do fast food (if that's how you choose to do it. However, If you're like me, you just want a beefy Fritos taco. you want a quesarito. Right freaking now, I want a glorious crunchwrap supreme in my mouth hole. taco Bell has subtly become my ride or die, and dang it, I'm fine with that.
- I alluded to this earlier in the Starbucks entry. Dunkin' is just better. The coffee is delicious. The cashiers at my local Dunkin' know my order by heart (Large cold brew iced coffee, two cream, two splendas, and just one pump of whatever the season flavor swirl is at the time). The Dunkin' to-go app is dangerous.
- Hands down, the best fast food burger I've ever had. If you woke up this morning and thought, "I want to have double bypass surgery today," then you're right at home. It all tastes so good though. They also give you a literal sack of those awesome seasoned french fries. I will be the first to ride into battle for anyone who hands me a sack of french fries.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST... LEGENDARY TIER
Everyone, sometimes you come across something in life that makes you reevaluate your beliefs, everything you thought you knew.
It's a gut-check that makes you look out into the abyss, and realize the abyss is starting back at you.
Chick-Fil-A was that abyss for me. No, I'm not over-exaggerating (yes I am, but let me have a little fun).
We don't have a Chick-Fil-A in the Southern Tier. The nearest one is like, an hour away or something like that, and I never really had a chance to try it.
I always heard people from down south rave about Chick-Fil-A-- about how it's the greatest thing on God's green earth.
My heart was closed off. How can a piece of chicken be a spiritual experience?
Then me and my wife took a trip south of the Mason-Dixon Line.
We went to Lynchburg, Virginia to visit from friends and family. We got in at about 9 p.m. We met up with our friends who were already at the place we were staying at. We mentioned we humble travelers were famished from a nearly eight-hour car ride.
Our friends said, "Let's go to Chick-Fil-A. It's down the road from here."
Oh here we go.
These crazy southerners and their Chick-Fil-A. Fine, I'll try their chicken.
We walked into this Chick-Fil-A at 9:30 p.m., and it was packed. I had never seen a non- open 24/7 fast food place so full, so late at night.
The line was long, but it moved fast, like impressively fast.
I will never forget what I ordered: a friend chicken sandwich, an order of nuggets, waffle fries, and a medium Diet Dr. Pepper.
Everything was immaculate. I get it now. I get why people rave about Chick-Fil-A-- because it is the pinnacle of food on the go.
That meal was like eating a baby angel. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but dang it, it feels right.
One bite in, I saw the light. Like Saul of Tarsus in the desert, I was reborn. The skies parted, the angels started singing "Hallelujah" from Handel's Messiah, and I saw the light.
Blessed be the fruit, my friends. Blessed be the fruit.
The food was good is what I'm saying.