What to Do After a Fight to Avoid Another One

Whether you just had a fight about something silly that sprung up in the moment, or this was something that has been brewing for months, after a fight with your partner, there are things you can do to remedy the situation and hope that it doesn't happen again.

• Calm yourself down because if your heart is still pumping fast and you're still in "fight or flight" mode, you can't effectively resolve any problems that are occurring in your relationship. Regulate your breathing to slow your heart rate in order to calm yourself down before confronting your partner again.
• Use "I" statements when you talk to your partner again. "I feel..." this specific way, or "I think" this specific thing. It helps your partner not feel attacked when you use "I" statements instead of "You did this" or "You did that".
• Listen to your partner when it is their turn to talk. Don't try to fix anything right away. Just listen and try to understand how your partner is feeling because their thoughts and feelings are valid.

You need to reflect on yourself first before going to your partner, but you two need to work together to tackle any issue that you both have in your relationship.