Southern Tier Family Cherishes Family by Creating New Easter Tradition

As Easter approaches, I can feel a lingering sadness growing inside me. Even though people told me the pain of my loss would lessen with time, it hasn't.

People always emphasize the importance of spending time with loved ones while they are still alive, as we never know when it will be too late. I have preached these words to others countless times, yet I was a hypocrite and my own words still taste like crow in my mouth.

My grandpa played a pivotal role in shaping who I am today. When my birth father abandoned me, my Pop took me under his wing and raised me as though I were his own daughter. But as I grew older, I failed to spend as much time with him as I should have and now, it's too late.

It's been thirteen long years since the last time our entire immediate family gathered together for Easter. That special occasion was in 2011, when my parents, grandparents, six siblings, and I were all in the same place at the same time, celebrating the holiday together. It was a rare treat to have my grandparents, who lived in Florida, visit New York during Easter. Those moments we shared that year remain vivid, especially because of Pop's famous chop suey.

I know that the notion of gender roles might seem outdated in today's world, but my great-grandpa stumbled on a chop suey recipe over sixty years ago. My Pappy decided to give it a try, realizing it was something he could easily whip up for the kids when his wife was unable to cook. For over 70 years, that recipe has been passed down to the men in my family and kept a secret from the women.

When I turned thirty and was still single, I wondered if I would ever have someone to make Pop's chop suey for me. Determined not to miss out on a lifetime of delicious chop suey, I set out on a mission to figure out how to recreate the recipe myself. I kept my progress a secret for almost a decade, only confessing to Pop the year before he passed away that I'd cracked the code. He was impressed and, in return, shared a coveted paper copy of his top-secret recipe with me, urging me to teach it to my husband. Unfortunately, Jay and Pop only met once, and chop suey wasn't on the agenda at that time, so Jay never had the chance to learn it from him.

The loss of my Pop in November 2020 had a profound impact on me. I couldn't help but reflect on all the missed opportunities to spend holidays with him, prioritizing work over family. While I know I will reunite with Pop in heaven someday, the longing for another Easter together or for him to lovingly prepare his special chop suey will always remain unfulfilled.

After Pop's passing, my husband suggested we break away from the traditional way of celebrating Easter and start our special tradition. In my household, we no longer sit down to the usual ham and candied yams for Easter dinner. Instead, we gather around the table to enjoy Pop's chop suey, a dish my husband and son prepare together. It's a way to honor my grandpa's memory and create new memories as a family.