Five Reasons to Vent to Your Significant Other and Not Your Friends
Before I married my husband, before I even met him, my mom gave me a piece of advice and told me to remember it because the day would come that I would need to be reminded of it.
The advice that my mom gave to me was that if my significant other and I ever found ourselves having a disagreement or if he were to start up habits that irritated me, I shouldn't run to her and spill the ugly details of our marriage and even if I did, she would refuse to listen to my complaints.
My mom explained that because I'm her daughter, she is partial to me and would most likely side with me and that wouldn't be fair to my significant other because there are always two sides to every story. She told me that her job is to encourage and uplift each of us and our marriage and that she wouldn't be able to fairly do that if her opinion of my other half was skewed.
Obviously, there are exceptions to this. Like, if you're in danger then you definitely need to speak up!
Sometimes it can feel liberating to complain to our friends about our significant other, but if you find yourself talking about your relationship with your friends or family all the time, it could end up badly. So, while you're spending more time with your other half these days, think about these reasons why you should take your gripe with them to them instead of to others.
There was something in my marriage that was really nagging at me and although I brought it up once to my husband, it still felt like the elephant in the room because we hadn't resolved it because I'd basically shut down and bottled my thoughts up inside. But, then I asked Jay if we could sit down and address it once and for all and I learned that he'd been feeling the same things. Talking things through actually taught us how to address the tough stuff with each other and now opened new lines of communication that we wouldn't have if I'd taken the issue to my friends and not my husband.
You might feel like venting/complaining to your friends means you've gotten everything off your chest, but that's not so true. When you don't say what you need to say to the person who's done or said something that bothers you, the issue hasn't been resolved and those feelings sink deep inside and then one day, they just explode out and all over the place and leave destruction in their path. Telling your significant other how you feel in a calm way is so much more freeing than holding it inside.
You owe your significant other respect and that means not spewing all of his or her dirty deeds to the world. Imagine how you'd feel if you found out that he was always telling his friends or family all the little things you do that irritate him. Not cool, right?
I don't know about you, but I can't stand being judged by people who don't know me or think they know me based on "stories" they've heard. If you don't like to be judged, why would you put your significant other in a situation where people are judging them based on your rants and not all on the other, good side of them?
If your significant other loves you, and I mean really loves you, then they want to know what they're doing wrong that making you so sad/mad. When someone has genuine love, they want the other person to be happy no matter what. If you only vent to your friends, then your significant other may never even know what they're doing that you think is wrong and won't know to work on changing those things.