If you are going on a first date and you are not nervous, then I am impressed. I think it's natural to be nervous when going on a date, especially a first date.

You really want to impress her, without looking like an idiot. Trust me, I totally understand.

But, at the same time you want to be yourself...a little. In the middle of all of that stuff that is going on in your head, it is very easy to say or do something stupid.

Men's Health has compiled a list of things that you should never say or do on a first date. Some of these tips are obvious, but I will still list them.

I hope these tips help you find that one true love:

  1. Don't tell her how much money you make; sell your personality, not your susceptibility to extortionist divorce settlements.
  2. Don't get drunk. You look stupid, and you say stupid things.
  3. Do not attempt to rub knees unless you're getting serious signals. These do not include, yawning, blinking, or wearing a skimpy top.
  4. Don't say her "chi is stalled." New Age men make great yoga instructors. That doesn't mean she wants to sleep with one.
  5. Do not use the word "proactive" unless she's specifically told you of her mad attraction to motivational speakers.
  6. Do not refer to your "issues" unless she's specifically told you of her mad attraction to men in analysis.
  7. Don't dress creatively. On a first date, she needs reassurance that you're normal. Prove you're a "funky guy" some other time.
  8. Don't give everything away, especially on the family/ex-girlfriend tragedy front. a) You'll need something to talk about on the second and third dates. And b) there's a very real chance she may never return from the ladies room.
  9. Avoid leaving your shirt unbuttoned to the naval. Imagination is a powerful thing.
  10. Don't go on and on about high school. There's a certain kind of man for whom the mid-to-late teen years still factor as the most glorious period of his life. Chances are she is not interested in getting to know this man any better.
  11. Even if you're curious, do not, under any circumstances, ask her if her breasts are real.
  12. If it was your idea to go out, it's your responsibility to pick up the check. If it was hers, split it.
  13. Don't wear dirty socks or underwear. (You never know)

Good luck!

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